Sitting down with a mediator provides the parties with a less expensive, less stressful, and less acrimonious way to discuss their issues.  If they are co-parenting their children, they need to keep the lines of communication open so that they can continue to be there for their children.  When communication breaks down between co-parents, the children lose.  If they are able to talk through the issues with the help of a mediator, they can most likely resolve them without going to court. 

Over the years, I have seen many couples return to mediation months or years after their divorce in final.  Mediation helps to smooth the way as issues arise that are causing stress and financial strain.  Even couples who have not mediated their divorce, can chose to work with a mediator after a divorce.  It’s a viable option to consider when needed.

Are you paralyzed with fear about the end of your marriage?  Are you feeling completely overwhelmed at the thought of divorce?  Are you fearful about your future and your children’s future? 

These are all very normal reactions to divorce.  Divorce is not easy.  It causes an incredible amount of anxiety and fear.  Your life as you’ve known it is changing and that can be very unsettling.  You’re concerned about finances and debt.  Will it be workable having two separate households?  How will the children get through the process?  Will you and your spouse be able to work through your differences and be able to co-parent after the divorce?

Some people may wallow in the anxiety and fear and thus take no action.  They will let the fear grip their life so hard that the thought of action is totally overwhelming.  They will not be able to move forward as long as they stay in that place.

Taking some action will give you the strength and courage you need to move on to a new life.  You are stronger than you realize if you look deep inside to your soul.  Lean on others for support and move from this core strength to take action and you will be able to move through the process to a better life.

Mediation is an option to consider as way to resolve your differences and separate your lives.  It can provide you with an avenue to communicate about your property and assets and most importantly, about your children.  Working with a Mediator, moves you through the process more efficiently with less stress and less cost.  It can be a very positive action to take when faced with the fear and anxiety of divorce.  It will move you forward from conflict to resolution and new life.

If there is conflict in your life, you know the emotional and financial pain you are experiencing.  Whether it is a failed marriage, difficulty with a business partner or vendor, or fighting among your siblings about the care of an aging parent, you are feeling pain.  How can you alleviate the pain and move forward?  How can your life be transformed?

Mediation offers a way out of the pain.  With the help of a mediator, you are able to talk to each other and be heard in a way that could not happen in a courtroom.  By listening to each other and talking the issues through, you can transform your relationship and go on with your lives.  If you are a couple who has decided to end your marriage, you can go through the divorce process and emerge with dignity and respect for each other having cultivated a cooperative atmosphere to raise your children into the future.  If you are a business owner who is no longer able to communicate with your business partner or vendor, you can mend the relationship so that you can return to business.  If you are a member of a family who has been fighting about how to care for your elderly parent, you can form an alliance with your siblings and make plans to care for your loved one. 

There is light at the end of the tunnel.  There is hope.  Mediation provides the light and hope so that you can move forward from conflict to resolution.  It can transform your life.

This has always been difficult for couples to do in the past, but it has been particularly challenging in the last few years.  With the economic downturn, downsizing/layoffs/furloughs, and foreclosures, etc., divorcing couples have been struggling with how to divide their shrinking resources so that they can separate and provide for themselves and their children.  They need to be creative and flexible in how they achieve this goal.  This is where mediation comes in.  It allows for a tremendous amount of creative negotiation around the financial realities of two households.  I have witnessed many couples work together to find a novel way to provide for their families.  There is only so much money to go around and they need to make it work.  Mediation gives them the opportunity to talk it through and come up with a plan that works for everyone.

Our thoughts about an event, our current situation, another person, our work, etc. have an incredible impact on our lives.  What happens to us is one thing.  How we react to it is another.  When you are going through a difficult time such as divorce, you may adopt a depressed, sad, anxious attitude about your life.  If you do so, life will seem difficult, burdened, and upsetting.  Changing your attitude (your thoughts) about your life can make a huge difference in how you move through it. 

When I went through my divorce over 20 years ago, I recall the hurt, pain, sadness, and uncertainty.  It is not an easy time for you and your children.  You need to grieve the loss and feel the pain.  But, once you have done so with the support of family and friends (and perhaps professional counseling as well), you can change your thoughts about the event.  If you can look at it is an empowering time for positive change, you can embrace your new life and move forward.  Positive thinking can do so much to change your outlook and bring good into your life.  You will survive and grow after your divorce.  There is life after divorce – embrace it with a new attitude!

Mediation is an option.  When you work with a mediator, you can talk about your wants, needs, and concerns during the mediation process.  The mediator helps you and your spouse to hear each other and understand your perspectives in a way that cannot happen in court.  You are empowered to make your own decisions that impact your lives as well as your children’s.  The mediator, as a neutral and impartial third party, does not make decisions for you.  She guides you through the divorce process in a way that allows you to make the important choices that will work best for you and your children.  You are part of the process and given the information you need to make informed decisions.  In this way, you chose what is best.  You can then move forward with your new life.

When you are going through a divorce, one of the strongest emotions is fear. Fear of the process, fear of the unknown, and fear of the future are common feelings that surface.  How do you overcome your fears and move forward?

It is very important to get accurate information about the divorce process so that you can make informed decisions about co-parenting and property division.  What do all of these documents mean?  What do I need to file? What do I want the final outcome to look like?  A divorce mediator can help both parties navigate the divorce process in a very efficient and affordable way.

During the mediation, the attorney/mediator provides both of you with the legal information you need to understand the process and decide the important issues involving your children and your property.  Having this information can help alleviate your fears about the legal process as well as your future.  Because you are making the decisions and not being told what to do by your attorneys and/or the judge, you can craft them in a way that works best for you and your family.  Mediation provides a safe environment to discuss your concerns, needs, and interests so that you can resolve your differences and move forward with your lives.

Divorce mediation is an option.  It focuses on the needs of the couple – not a court schedule.  It takes an average of three to six months to move through a divorce using mediation.  This is considerably less time than litigation. You’re not dependent upon court calendars, attorney schedules, etc.  You sit down with your partner and the mediator and discuss the issues resolving them in a way that is mutually agreeable to both of you.  You don’t spend years in court.  Because you both have made decisions that benefit you and your family, you leave resentments and anger behind.  In this way, you can move forward with your lives.  Mediation provides an efficient and affordable way to divorce.

When you’re going through a divorce, it may feel like a thousand miles until you reach your new destination – a life of peace and renewed hope.  It can feel like that point in your life will never come.  It can be difficult to focus on your children, your work, and everyday activities.  Divorce can be emotionally draining and difficult to process.  But, there is hope for a brighter future if you take that first step and get some help and support.

I recommend that my clients get some professional counseling as they go through a divorce.  Many therapists are specially trained to deal with the issues of separation and divorce.  They can be there for you and your children as you adjust to your new life.  It can be very beneficial to talk to someone who is experienced in dealing with these issues.  When you take that first step to find emotional support, you are empowered to move forward in your journey toward a new beginning – a new life after divorce.

Going through a separation and divorce can make you feel like you are broken.  If you go through the court system, you will be emotionally and financially drained.  You may resent the decisions that are made for you by your attorney and the judge.  You may be angry and bitter over the outcome. It may seem like the world has broken you.

There is a better way to divorce that will not make you feel shattered.  Mediation offers you an alternative to a stressful and expensive court battle. It is not only considerably less expensive, but empowers you to make the decisions that are best for you and your family.  No one makes the decisions for you.  With the help of the mediator, you and your spouse craft a mutually agreeable arrangement for your new lives.  You are strengthened in the process instead of feeling broken and dejected by the outcome.  There is life after divorce. It’s up to you to choose how you get through the process – broken or stronger.