If there is conflict in your life, you know the emotional and financial pain you are experiencing.  Whether it is a failed marriage, difficulty with a business partner or vendor, or fighting among your siblings about the care of an aging parent, you are feeling pain.  How can you alleviate the pain and move forward?  How can your life be transformed?

Mediation offers a way out of the pain.  With the help of a mediator, you are able to talk to each other and be heard in a way that could not happen in a courtroom.  By listening to each other and talking the issues through, you can transform your relationship and go on with your lives.  If you are a couple who has decided to end your marriage, you can go through the divorce process and emerge with dignity and respect for each other having cultivated a cooperative atmosphere to raise your children into the future.  If you are a business owner who is no longer able to communicate with your business partner or vendor, you can mend the relationship so that you can return to business.  If you are a member of a family who has been fighting about how to care for your elderly parent, you can form an alliance with your siblings and make plans to care for your loved one. 

There is light at the end of the tunnel.  There is hope.  Mediation provides the light and hope so that you can move forward from conflict to resolution.  It can transform your life.

Within a marriage context, culture can often divide a couple when it comes to issues of extended family.  Many cultures expect the oldest son (and his wife and children) to live with his parents.  Sometimes this can cause incredible strain on a marriage, especially if the wife has a different cultural background. 

In families dealing with the issues of elderly parents, cultural norms and expectations can cause extra stress on the parents and siblings.  Who is supposed to care for an elderly mother when the father has passed away?  Is it acceptable to place Mom in an assisted living facility if she is supposed to live with extended family?  What if caring for Mom has become too stressful for family members and extra care is necessary?  All of these issues must be viewed through a cultural lens.

 How can these issues be resolved taking into account the family’s cultural background?  Mediation affords couples and families an opportunity to discuss these issues and come to resolution.  The court system does not look at culture and how it affects conflict in relationships.  Working with a mediator gives the parties a chance to talk through these issues and reach agreements that take into consideration the family’s cultural background.

In elder care matters, mediation can help assure maximum possible control over basic life decisions for the elder and care recipients, while also addressing their needs for assistance.  It focuses on shared decision making which eases the stress of one party being the sole decision maker.

Parties work together to reach mutually acceptable solutions to difficult problems.  It is highly effective because the parties design their own agreements.  During the mediation process, participants are taught conflict resolution skills that can be used at home or elsewhere.  Finally, mediation preserves and strengthens relationships.  Because you can talk through your differences, you can usually restructure you family relationships in a way that works best for everyone.

Mediation can be thought of as a way of sharing decision making responsibilities among family members.  It may take the form of a family meeting to share information on a family member’s care, develop options, and reach consensus on difficult decisions.  The mediation process may also be helpful in resolving a dispute this is impacting family members, caregivers, and the care recipient.

Dealing with decisions about the personal or financial needs of a family member can be complicated and stressful when options appear limited. Some family members may feel overwhelmed by the care needs of their loved one, particularly when juggling those needs with the needs of children, other family members, or career demands.  Mediation gives families a chance to talk together about problems and with the guidance from a trained mediator, work together to find solutions acceptable to everyone involved.

These kinds of issues create anger and resentment between siblings that often tears a family apart. In the middle of this strife and conflict is the aging parent who just wants to see her/his children get along. Families in this kind of distress need the help of a professional mediator who can be neutral and impartial. The mediator guides the siblings and the parents in an effort to re-open the lines of communication and bring healing. Each sibling is able to bring his/her concerns to the table and be heard in a way that may have never happened before. When the siblings hear each other’s perspectives and voice their concerns, family relationships can be mended and saved. A new understanding comes about from talking through the issues. Siblings are often able to forge a new alliance and plan for the care of their aging parents.