FAQs

FAQs About Mediation in a Dissolution of Marriage

What is mediation?

Mediation is a process that brings in a neutral third party, the Mediator, who helps facilitate communication between disputing Parties to reach a mutually beneficial resolution. It is a less expensive, less stressful and more effective option to settle conflicts, enabling individuals who will need to continue interacting with each other to do so in a different way.

How long does mediation take?

Mediation sessions are typically two hours long. The number of sessions required to reach an agreement depends upon the complexity of the issues and the ability of the Parties to work together both during and outside of mediation sessions. Mediated dissolution of marriage cases with couples who have property and children generally take about 3-6 sessions to go through all of the family law issues.

What if my spouse and I are not communicating very well - can we still mediate?

Yes, you can. Mediation is a voluntary process in which you both have to be willing to come to the table to discuss the issues. The Mediator works with the two of you to improve your communication skills so that you can work together to resolve your differences, and if children are involved, be good co-parents into the future.

What does mediation cost?

Mediation is much less expensive than hiring attorneys and doing battle in court. Even if your case doesn’t go to court, it can still cost $10,000 - $15,000 or more to work out all of the issues using attorneys for litigation. A Mediator charges an hourly rate for two hour sessions and there is no retainer required as the Mediator gets paid as the process goes along. I often ask my clients to consider, “Whose child do you want to put through college, your attorney’s or your own?” I think that sums it up best.

How can we prepare for mediation?

The best preparation for mediation is to think about what your needs and interests are in regard to property division, support, and the needs and interests of your children. If you can come to the table having thought about what you want and need, you will make better progress during the mediation sessions.

Who participates in the mediation?

The participants are the parties to the dispute. If counsel has been retained, the attorneys may attend to advise their clients. Mediation is confidential and private (away from the very public forum of a courtroom). Friends and family can attend the mediation as support persons for a Party as long as the other Party agrees. However, they cannot speak during or participate in the actual mediation process.

Children do not generally participate in the private mediation process. However, if the children are old enough, I strongly encourage you both to check in with them about what they would like to see happen.

You may have heard of something called Court-ordered Mediation or Family Court Services Mediation. This is different than private mediation as the counselor that the Parties speak to will make a recommendation to the Court about what she/he thinks is best for the family. Often, the Court will follow the recommendation of the court-appointed Mediator.

In private mediation, the Mediator does not make decisions for the Parties. She/He makes suggestions or brings up alternatives, but there is no decision-making power on the part of the Mediator. The mediation process belongs to the Parties and they make the final decisions about what is best for them and their children.

Is the mediation process confidential?

Yes, all Parties sign the Mediation Agreement at the beginning of the mediation that outlines the confidentiality of the process per the California Evidence Code. The Mediator will keep everything said or documents written (except for Memorandum of Understanding outlining agreements reached during the sessions and the final Agreement) confidential. Any statements made during mediation are confidential and inadmissible against another Party in any subsequent non-criminal proceeding. Also, the Mediator cannot be called to testify in court should the mediation end and the Parties proceed to litigation.

How can mediation be beneficial for my children?

I offer a comprehensive co-parenting plan that covers a wide range of parenting issues that can arise with children from infants to teenagers. It helps the two of you come to agreements regarding how much parenting time you will each have with your children and how you will raise them together as co-parents. I often tell my clients that even after your children turn 18 and either leave for college or go to work you are co-parents forever as you have graduations, birthdays, weddings, and grandchildren to look forward to into the future. You will be interacting as co-parents for the rest of your lives.

If it doesn’t work out, can we still go to court?

Yes, you can. However, as stated above, due to the confidentiality of mediation, discussions and written documents are not allowed to be brought into a subsequent court proceeding. Also, the Mediator cannot be subpoenaed to testify in court about what happened in mediation.

Do you prepare all of the court paperwork for us or can we prepare it ourselves?

I do offer document preparation and filing services for which there is a separate fee. Also, the Parties are responsible for any court filing fees. It is acceptable to take the agreements you’ve reached in mediation and prepare the documents yourself or take them to a court document preparer service if you would like to do so.