The Indecisive Couple
Occasionally, I will meet with a couple in a mediation consultation who are undecided about the fate of their marriage. Usually, one of the parties is not sure they want to end the marriage. While the other person may think they want to divorce, there may be some doubt in their mind as well. They initially come in to find out about divorce mediation, but as we talk, it becomes clear that they are indecisive. What can I do to help such a couple?
I can offer them my services as a Relationship Mediator. Many mediators have encountered couples going through the divorce process who comment when it’s all over that they wish they had known about mediation while they were still married. Through the mediation process, they have learned to better communicate and have rediscovered the commonalities that brought them together in the first place. As a result of these comments by couples, Marital (also known as Relationship) Mediation was born.
Relationship Mediation helps the couple with their communication skills and helps them to problem solve some of the basic issues in their marriage, such as, finances, career, sex, family life, children’s issues, household responsibilities, etc. It is a forward thinking approach to saving a marriage. It is not in-depth marriage counseling which often looks at personality disorders and family of origin issues. Mediators are not qualified to conduct marriage counseling unless they are dual professionals with a therapist degree/license.
A couple who work with a mediator can restructure their relationship and move forward. It is an affordable and worthwhile option to consider if your marriage is not as strong as you would like.
